just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize