Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i came on her dog
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
