My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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