Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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