i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
