I can tuck mytits in my pants
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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