I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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