Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
3pm strippers are depressing
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
