you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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