Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
