anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
