Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
