I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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