Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
