....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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