It's like God shit irony all over that family
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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