you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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