If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
