batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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