He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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