All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
