when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
