i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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