It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
