Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
They took my balls.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
