He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
