dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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