i don't like sucking hair
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
