The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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