Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
