Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
