i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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