There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
