Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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