we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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