so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
