Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I think my moral compass just broke
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