Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
