Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
