He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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