I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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