drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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