as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
