In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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