do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
