hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize