No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
