I'm so fucking centered right now
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
