I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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