Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
