hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
