Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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