hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
