so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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