You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize