I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
