i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
