whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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