I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
