Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she told me i tasted like america
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
