i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
