Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wannas sexs uuuuu
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
